The Delicious Pain of L'amour
by Anti-XYo
Summary: Why do delinquents fall in love with such abusive women? Lance&Kitty, Pietro&his harem, and, err, Todd loves Wanda. . . Silly Fic By Half'n'Half.


The Delicious Pain of L'amour  
  
By Half'n'Half: She owns two talking moose plush toys. . . one of them claims to be a wolverine. . . so. . . does she own Wolverine? Probably no, maybe half of one though.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
Todd hopped into the Boarding house with a large bouquet of flowers.   
  
"Who are those for?" Freddy asked.   
  
"They're for Wanda!" Todd said smiling.   
  
Pietro shook his head. "This is not gonna be pretty." He headed into the living room as Todd hopped up stairs.   
  
From where they sat in the living room, Freddy and Pietro could hear Todd knocking on Wanda's door.   
  
"Wanda, shnookums, I have something for you!" Todd crooned as sweetly as he could.   
  
A few seconds later Todd and a burnt bouquet came flying down the stairs as Wanda's door slammed.   
  
He sighed. "Wanda hexed me again!" He got up and hopped into the living room. "That's the tenth time this week, I think she likes me!"   
  
"Todd," Pietro started, "Why do you put up with her? If I were you I'd…"   
  
Pietro was cut off by Lance walking in the front door. His hand was on his cheek, which had a red hand print on it. Lance sighed and fell on the couch.   
  
"What happened to you?" Freddy asked.   
  
"Kitty slapped me." Lance said, staring up at the ceiling. "I think I'll call and ask her if she wants to go to dinner, or a movie, or maybe just for a walk in the park."   
  
Pietro's jaw dropped. "But…but she just slapped you!"  
  
"I know," Lance sighed, "isn't she great?" He got up, grabbed the phone and dialed. "Hey Kitty!" He said as he walked up stairs.   
  
Pietro shook his head. "I don't understand, they abuse you and you like them even more."   
  
Todd stared out the window. "I wonder if she'd like it if I made her cookies…"   
  
* * * * * * *   
  
Lance sat on a park bench fiddling with a twig. Todd sat next to him putting a band-aid on his knee.   
  
"Wanda knocked me down the stairs when I asked her to come to the park with us." Todd said, smiling.  
  
"Why?" Lance asked, breaking his twig in half and dropping it on the ground.   
  
"I dunno, guess she didn't wanna come, yo." Todd put a band-aid on his elbow. "She's gettin' better at pushing me down the stairs; I think she's getting stronger from it."   
  
Lance laughed. "You're crazy!"   
  
Todd smiled. "Hey Lance, isn't that your Kitty-kat by the drinkin fountain, yo?"   
  
Lance jumped up. "Yeah! Hey, see ya later Todd!" He ran over to the drinking fountain where Kitty was standing and talking with Bobby and Amara.   
  
"Hey pretty Kitty, "Lance said, smiling, "What's shaking?"   
  
"You." Kitty said, smiling back at Lance.   
  
Lance stared, dumb founded for a second then he started laughing. "Oh, hey, that was funny!"   
  
Amara giggled and Bobby shook his head. The two of them walked off leaving Kitty and Lance alone.   
  
"So Kitty, what are you doing here?" Lance asked, as he and Kitty walked down a path that led to a duck pond.   
  
"The institute got boring, so, like, some of us decided to go to the park."   
  
As the two of them reached the pond Kitty sat down on a large rock and Lance started skipping stones.   
  
"The Boarding house gets boring sometimes too, not very often, but it does."   
  
"So then, like, what are you doing in the park?" Kitty asked.   
  
"I wanted to be alone for a while." Lance said.   
  
"But your, like, not alone."   
  
Lance smiled, "Being with you's better."   
  
Kitty giggled, then gasped as Lance skipped a rather large rock and it hit a duck.   
  
"Lance!" Kitty yelled, jumping off the rock. "You just, like, hit that poor duck!"   
  
Lance started running away then ran as Kitty chased after him.   
  
"I'm sorry Kitty," Lance panted as he ran, "I didn't mean to!"   
  
"Come back here you loser and, like, fight like a man!" Kitty screamed.   
  
* * * * * * *   
  
Lance ran into the Boarding house out of breath and covered in leaves and twigs. He had a few cuts and bruises on his hands and he had a huge smile on his face.   
  
"What happened to you?" Pietro asked, racing down stairs.   
  
"Kitty chased me again." Lance said, lying down on the couch.   
  
"Why'd she chase you?" Freddy asked, turning his attention from the TV. to Lance.   
  
"I was skipping rocks and I accidentally hit a duck." Lance said dreamily.   
  
"But it wasn't your fault; it was just a stupid duck." Pietro said.   
  
"I know, but Kitty likes animals." Lance said. Pietro shook his head.   
  
"What happened to him?" Lance asked as he noticed Todd passed out on the floor. "Wanda attacked him," Pietro laughed, "He tried to kiss her again."   
  
"Poor little toad." Freddy sighed turning back to the TV.   
  
An obnoxious boy-band came onto the TV singing about their new C.D., Lance sat up.   
  
"Hey, Kitty loves those guys!" He yelled, "maybe I should buy them their new C.D."   
  
"I'm outta here! You guys are crazy!" Pietro yelled as he sped out of the house.   
  
Lance shrugged and lay back down on the couch to dream about his Kitty.   
  
* * * * * * *   
  
Pietro returned a few hours later with four girls hanging on his arm.   
  
"Ladies, I'm sorry, but I have to go take care of my house mates."  
  
"No! Please don't leave Pietro!" The girls cried.   
  
"I must, but I'll see you again soon." He waved as the girls sadly turned and left.   
  
Pietro walked into the living room where he found Lance in a corner writing a love song to Kitty, Freddy as asleep on the floor, and Todd was sitting next to Wanda on the couch just staring at her. Pietro shook his head.   
  
"That's the way a girl friend should be." He said pointing to where the girls used to be. "Hanging on you, wanting to be with you every second, obeying everything you say."   
  
"Sounds like a slave." Lance laughed, as he strummed a chord on his guitar.   
  
"No," Pietro said, running over to Lance and smacking him on the head. "It sounds like you."   
  
"Oh," Lance laughed, "So I'm your perfect girl friend?"   
  
"No!" Pietro yelled, "I mean you shouldn't be acting like that, she should!"   
  
Lance shook his head and went back to his song writing.   
  
Todd snuggled Wanda's arm.   
  
"What do you say to you and me going to a romantic movie, yo?" He asked, batting his eyes.   
  
Wanda shoved him off the couch and went up stairs.   
  
"Ok, maybe later then." Todd called after her.   
  
Pietro sighed and sat down on the couch.   
  
"Why do you put up with that?" Pietro asked, "Why do you enjoy it when they chase you, or hit you?"   
  
"Because then they're paying attention to us." Todd said.   
  
"Yeah, and they're not paying attention to other guys." Lance added.   
  
"But why put up with that when you can get a girl who wont chase you, or hit you, but will still pay attention to you?" Pietro asked.   
  
"Because," Lance started, smiling at a picture of Kitty he'd taken out of his pocket, "I don't want another girl."   
  
Todd nodded. "Same here, yo."   
  
Pietro shook his head. "You guys are crazy!"   
  
"Yup, crazy bout Wanda!" Todd smiled.   
  
Lance laughed and started playing his guitar.   
  
"Hmm," He thought, "crazy about Kitty…that could make a good song."   
  
Pietro sighed, "I need some normal friends!"  
  
END YO 


End file.
